I come from a place where being right was more important than being kind
Yeh, id let go of anything but I wouldn’t let go my pride
Words that said sorry never left my lips
So much anger, sense of injustice and clenching of my fists
But I have undergone a major shift
I feel such a lift off my shoulders from those boulders
I was carrying on my back for so long
Feeling the weight of my own existence being fundamentally wrong
And then I saw the light of my own awareness
Shining upon these objects of dissolution
An infusion of Shakti and Shiva forces
Some say this is what Source is
And through this process of self-enquiry
I have embodied elements both watery and fiery
For Shiva without Shakti is lifeless
And Shakti without Shiva is a chaotic mess
And with said I invoke a soft playfulness and intuitive intellect;
A sense of wonderment as I ask the question
Who Am I?
Who Am I?
And as my ego dies each time a little more
This internal balance is being restored
No more masks
No more trying to please
No more withholding my affection so that you can prove yourself to me
I will simply be who I am – pure, innocent and free
For I cannot feel the brunt of rejection if I know my own worth
I cannot feel pain if I choose not to suffer first
And while this thirst for love envelops me
It is love in union with detachment that holds the key
To the end of suffering and the gateway to bliss
The gradual unclenching of my face and fists
And with my eyes wide open I allow the light to flood in
This sense of grasping is replaced with receiving
And yet there is still this child in me who wants to be seen
A lost little girl kicking and screaming
Seeking another to tell her
The words that she cannot tell herself
That she is loved and that she is enough
And the more I deny her the more I deny myself
As she reveals to me what I couldn’t see
I am called to question whether I am on this journey for you or for me
Yeh, coz I have the tendency to try too hard and love too much
Compensating for the lack of love I give myself
Proving myself yet again
That I can be lover, warrior and friend
It’s a trend
A pattern I am now starting to break
The delicate balance between give and take
Give and take
And make no mistake I am ready to receive
And I choose not to believe in this notion of having one or the other
Oh brother, can’t you see that I can have it all
These restrictions are tales of fiction
In my jurisdiction there is no short straw
Because everything in life is a beautiful lesson
And anytime I feel lack I come back to the fact that this is my soul’s contract that I have chosen
And it’s up to me whether I dive in deep or just dip my toes in
Either way it’s all the same
Whether time goes fast or feels like it’s frozen
And like a flower with its petals closed
It knows when is the right time to open up and be exposed
And in the same way I let go
And trust that the answers to my questions will reveal themselves on their own
Coz I am not alone
I am always guided
And reminded of when I am looking at things one sided
Coming back to humility and integrity so that I can see the bigger picture
Allowing my life to continue to get richer
And like a star shining bright
Just pure cosmic light
There is no fight
Coz existing is a birth right
And now is the time more than ever to put down my sword and pick up a feather
And surrender to this cosmic endeavour
To slow down the pace
And embrace this grace and the smile that wraps around my face
The taste of love that drips from my lips
And the erotic sensations that felt in my hips
Those subtle revelations, elevations and cessations of the mind
This intuitive knowledge that somehow got left behind
Lost in time
And now coming back into presence, I contemplate my true essence
And all that I am
Yes I am more than this body
More than just form
I am more than the moon and the rise of the new dawn
I am more than being torn by duality
I am pure awareness that is neutrality
I am all that is, all that was and all that will be
And with this inner knowing and expression of vulnerability
I set myself free and simply just BE.
